The Ultimate Report (TUM 2004)

After Evoke, I just couldn't resist going to another german party. Here follows my account of christmas with my real family.

PARTYDAY 1: Travel and Arrival

Xmas food. Cognac. Family. Shitty smalltown norway, boy was I happy to board the plane. Very happy, as a matter of fact. The
usual xmas storms put an hour's delay on my flight, which was putting me a bit off since I was meeting kusma/excess/boohoholics
in Oslo to join in the boarding of a corresponding Ryanair flight to Frankfurt. After much ado and further delay, we finally
joined at some small train station outside Oslo and hitched a ride with his brother to the airport.

Having brought a bottle of vodka from denmark, the first thing we did was to occupy the toilet to mix some boozoholics juice
for the flight. We then proceeded to the check in and just managed to grab two pints before we boarded the plane. The flight
was ok, we drank the vodka-with-sodapop and watched a Mars commercial which had the slogan "Mars - Pleasure you can't Measure".
Landing, we bought more beer at Hahn and then got a ride to Mainz. We were slightly drunk and bought something we thought was
a ticket to Hemsbach. Some DB dude printed out our "fahrplan" and I bought a bottle of sparkling wine and some more beers.

Not being accustomed to trains, we disembarked the train at Mannheim and spent an hour there. We grabbed some food and drank
more beer. Losing an hour wasn't awfully fun, and when we finally arrived at Hemsbach we were quite drunk and excited to
finally be there. We had no idea where to go, so I popped into the local snack bar to ask for directions. I asked the
attendant if he could call for a taxi. Everyone in the place laughed at me in a "hahaha this is Hemsbach we don't have any
taxis hahaha" way. I then asked for the sportshall, and the attendant said "aaahhh, you're going to the games convention?".

On our way to the games convention we livened Hemsbach up a little in a way that only drunk norwegians can. Luckily, kusma 
noticed some activity (the only place in Hemsbach that had people on the outside, actually) and YAY, we had finally arrived.
Outside the place we met some finns (at least dodke and uncle-x, I think). I popped my bottle of sparkling wine, went inside,
got a long distance discount (even though I hadn't mailed) and found the cologne bunch. Dropping off my stuff, I was ready to
party. From here on, the report is not chronologically correct.

After meeting the cologne people again (very nice guys, every single one), I hooked up with the unholy swiss couple, Fred and
Unlock. Sir Garbagetruck was along quite soonly, and I kept bumping into old and new faces like tmb, dalezy, the hamburg guys 
(or farbrausch if you want), tournesol, uncle-x, the not so sick dutch people and so forth. We basically kept drinking a lot.
I went to the gas station several times to refill. xxx also offered me some nice kölsch, I liked it better this time than on
evoke. I think the wild compo was this evening, and we had a lot of fun watching the mfx stuff, the buenzli promo and nosfe's
most excellent short movie. At some point I remembered to upload my music entries, but due to my form I mis-titled my tracked
entry. I was just going to have some fun (I thought it was at the time) by writing "fu!!1" to the orgas, but missed by some
fields, and *wham* one of my tracks was called "fu!! blalba" or something. Anyway, the process took a looong time :) The orgas
also got the joke and sent me some fus back, which was very nice. I think at some point Steam or Steeler offered me joint, and
things get a little blurred after this. I remember trying to communicate with tournesol and lord graga before I intentionally
went to sleep under the Scoopex banner when I realised every one else had gone to sleep.


After maybe 2-3 hours sleep, I woke up, probably because the annoying TUM04 jingle was booming in my ears. This one time, I'm
actually grateful for that jingle. The tracked compo was starting at 10:00 am, and I wanted to catch it, no matter what. 
Before I go on with stuff, let me reflect on an issue here:

TUM's timetable had scattered the compos almost from start to end. I find this highly unfortunate. Starting compos at 10:00
in the morning doesn't leave much time for sleep, and having them with only and hour or two in between doesn't leave much
room for other stuff than idling about, waiting for stuff to happen. I even missed compos (which I hate to do) at some point
because I had something to eat! Please concentrate compos a little more next time.

I felt like shit anyway. Drinking for more than 15 hours and then sleeping for maybe 3 makes you drunk and hungover at the
same time (as put by a not-so-random-finnish-scener). I couldn't quite enjoy the compo, but at least I spent it with dalezy
and some other trackers, which is the way it is supposed to be. I think at some point I met uncle-x again, we had some food
(I think it was him). Unlock got hold of us and we wrote something for the "live TUM" section in Pain, which was due
to release some hours later. Throughout the morning and mid-day, there were more music compos. I really liked the entries
in the MP3 compo, which I believe was spent with at least Dixan, dalezy, uncle-x, kusma and maybe even xxx and lot's of other
nice people. The *real family* aspect was getting there. My tune sounded like shit on the PA (all base and no mid, probably
because it was headset mixed), so I gave up on winning any prestige. At some point, I went to the gas station and bought a
new bottle of sparkling wine, and I think maybe around 3 or 4pm me and kusma started drinking again, watching Mr. bumps and
Mr. muff making a boozoholics party prod. We shared the wine and barely followed the graphics compos. The day was further
spent making some stuff and mingling with the other sceners. I had a shower at some point and felt very refreshed.

In the afternoon kusma, truck, fred (and unlock?), dipswitch and I went for a meal in the chinese restaurant. The food was ok, we had some 
beer and chatted about this and that. We thought we didn't miss out on anything since orgas were eating at the next table. 
However, we had missed the PC 4k compo, which was sad. After this, I went to withdraw some cash and we all bought booze at
the gas station. truck bought vodka for the salmiakki, and I bought another bottle and some juice to make screwdrivers. I had
no illusions that beer could get me drunk this day. Back in the hall, we gathered at one of the benches and started to make
salmiakki and just drinking. This was a very nice hour, we were just hanging around and sceners just popped by and had a 
little chat. The hanging around moved over to the "lounge" (note: get a better one next year. more sofas and other comfortable
seating arrangements) and enjoyed the DJ sets and some demo show. Needless to say, the evening was spent drinking, smoking, 
chatting, hanging around and waiting for the intro and demo compos to start.

Everything was delayed as usual (couldn't live without delays, to be honest :)), but at some point after general partying 
we all gathered for the compos. They were quite nice, almost every one had really nice entries. There is quite nothing like
the bigger compos since so many gather around in front of the bigscreen to watch and comment. A really great time of the party.
At some point Madenmann made a stage appearance, some sick dutch fucks started dancing, and I was just drunk and stoned enough
to join in. I really hope we didn't ruin someone's entry by stealing the attention. Between compos I remember me and dalezy 
trying to beatbox (dalezy was superior) and mnemonix and me doing some oldschool rave dancing. This further developed into 
beatboxing drum and base along to some entries, I have no idea why. But it was fun. Again, I really hope we didn't ruin anyone's
prods here. 

After the compos I remember we kept drinking and smoking (cologne dudes are hard on that), chatting, voting, hanging around etc.
All in all, an enjoyable evening. I made several trips to the gas station to buy alcohol. Someone put too many fisherman's friend
in the salmiakki. As for the demo compo, let me just say that it had some very nice entries. I loved MFX' bp05 invtro for it's 
general coolness and shameless early ninetees references. Farbrausch's Theta had some really good looking scenes and a general
'specialness' that I really enjoyed (jej, paniq!). 7th Cube's demo unfortunately bugged at a vital point and the best scene was
lost. Too bad, the demo is really nice (and very danish), tournesol did a great job making a lot of it at the party. Gabberhammer
was funny, although slightly disturbing ( jco :P).

Summing up the party: Great people: new and old friends. Very nice atmosphere saturday and both days had great parties-in-the-party.
Meeting sceners is always a great way to spend time, I wouldn't be without it. Maybe I overdid the drinki...naaaah, I still remember
everything. Note to self: Smoking weed when I'm drunk makes me very wasted and fucks up the timeline.

PARTYDAY 3: Partyend and resurrecting memories

At some point saturday, we all got to sleep. This night I cought at least five hours OVER the Scoopex banner. Maybe I should have
gone to sleep earlier, I remember being extremely wasted and trying to explain to Zania that I was a modern man who's all for
equality of genders and generally a great fan of women. However, sunday was all about meeting people from yesterday, recapping events.
Kusma had to leave really early (before I went to sleep, I think), I didn't say a proper goodbye, and missed him dearly. We quite soonly
gathered around the stage for the price giving ceremony. As usual, there was some moving bars with animations, this time the bars were
represented by skiers who were crushed as the respective entry had reached its amount of points. To my very big surprise, I came first
in the mp3 compo. I stumbled on stage. As I received the gold medal I suddenly remembered that paniq had told me the night before that
he would disqualify himself if he got placed high. I later found out he actually had won the compo, so in my mind I'll be number two. 
Jco came second, and he had even had the decency to dress up nice, something which I have planned for a long time myself but never got
around to do. Respek! In the other compos, results were no big surprises (except that fr came second with a good demo on a german party).
As the winners were proclaimed, we cheered and watched them receive their medals. Medals are btw better than statues. 

At some point, xxx had invited to go to cologne and join them for an afterparty. After the prize-ceremony I said goodbye to everyone, 
packed my stuff and hitched a ride with steam, pandur, kami and laura (?). The drive was two hours long and I was very hung over. As
we approached cologne, memories from Evoke came to me and I felt quite happy. I really like cologne, both the feeling of the city itself
and all the very nice sceners who live there (Black Maiden guys + the rest of you). Steam took me to his place, were I got to relax, 
go online until my battery was out, played some playstation and just got that little pause I needed. Thanks to you mate, this is the
second time you're doing me a big favour. Some hours later xxx, uncle-x, truck and cerian came along and we all went to Station Bar, which
is precisely the same bar we went to after evoke. Great memories all in all. There, we met pandur, dipswitch, dodke, the other finnish dudes,
poti +++. We had drinks and chatted about this and that. I enjoyed the chilly dnb, the atmosphere, the sceners and cologne in general. I
played fussball, but had lost all my skill. After some hours, we decided that the party was over, bought some beer and went to xxx' place.
Drinking beer, watching on the telly and winding down, we all went to sleep. Poor truck and cerian, they had to get up three
hours later for their flight back to london. I spent some hours online in tobi's computer-room, irc'ing and pouet'ing. After that I fell
asleep really quick despite tobi's server making a lot of sound. Obviously, I needed rest.

AFTERPARTYDAY 1: Hanging out and leaving

When I woke up, I did a reality check. I had no idea what day it was, but felt slightly rested. At some point I had woken up with
a half naked tobi hovering over me (he was getting something in a closet). I ventured out to the living room in the apartment, 
feeling very grateful that I had been offered a bed. I met up with tobi and uncle-x, had a shower and at some point Netpoet
arrived and livened up the place. The day was spent watching some demos, having cigarettes on the balcony with uncle-x, exchanging music
with netpoet, eating (great pizza) and trying to plot my journey home. I didn't feel like taking the train home, since I did that after
Evoke and knew how foul that trip is. Unfortunately, where I live (Århus) is far away from everywhere, and netpoet helped me finding a 
proper train ride. In the afternoon I packed my stuff, and we headed for cologne center. After having bought a ticket and stashing my
bag, the four of us went for more kölsch and some food. All in all a nice day, very hungover but with refreshing people. At half past
eleven I made my farewell with the other three guys and almost reluctantly left cologne, which is becoming somewhat of a favourite city
of mine. As expected, I had no sleep on the journey. I very well couldn't drink my whiskey either since there as a nice girl in my kupè.
After all, I didn't want to appear as an alcoholic!

AFTERPARTYDAY 2: New year's Eve.

My birthday. I'm 27. I arrive in Århus at 10am in the morning after no sleep. I feel deprived of cologne and the very nice people I spent
time with there. I feel deprived of the people and atmosphere at TUM. I go to my favourite coffee shop, and it's open. I grab a cup of tea,
buy some food and take the bus home. In the kitchen I meet oneof the nice guys I live with. I feel 27, and I feel like shit. He asks about
my plans for the evening. I have none. He invites me to a party. I go to sleep. I get up at six and have a shower. I go into the kitchen. The
party has started. I eat a lot of meat and potatoes, I drink wine. I offer my bottle of whiskey, but drink most of it myself as the others are
drinking white russians. I'm having one too. I decide to wear my Hugo Boss Tuxedo all, black and white. Just for the hell of it (the humour), I
wear my TUM medal. At some point, I'm drunken. I go downstairs to the other kitchen. I meet a some danish girls. One of them is called Anne
Kristin. She looks good. She looks at me in a special way. Later, we go the bar. I meet the people from my party. I drink screwdrivers and even
some vodka with red bull. I meet Anne Kristin again. She looks better. We talk a lot. We dance some. I can tell from the way she looks at me
that she wants to score me. I employ all the tricks from my recent Pain article just for kicks. My place looks like a complete disaster area, 
there are even no sheets on the bed. She's sleeping over at her friend's place. I invite her mine. We kiss a lot. She comes to my place. We
fuck. Then we sleep for some hours. We wake up, have some water. We fuck again. We sleep more. Then we wake up and fuck for the third time.
At two o'clock she decides to go home. She doesn't ask for my number. I say good bye and sleep until half past eight.

To sum up:

* Funny trip with kusma
* great meeting everyone at tum. Can't wait until breakpoint.
* great compos, great partying. Love to everyone.
* Steam and xxx take care of me in cologne. great people, great city.
* I live at xxx place. Chilldown, spending the day with very nice people.
* Horrible eleven hour train ride home
* I get laid.

All in all, thanks to everyone for a very nice after-xmas. I hope I didn't offend anyone too much. See you all at BP.